Reader comment on Unknown's passage ...

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    On Nov 9, 2013 david doane wrote:

     I agree that when two people are angry at each other their hearts distance.  I don't think they shout to cover the distance to be able to hear each other. I think they shout to force their point.  I think the greater the anger the less the interest in hearing each other, and the shouting creates more distance.  I agree that when two people love each other, they don't shout and they talk softly because their hearts are very close.  I also think it works the other way around, that is, not shouting helps hearts be close.  When in a situation in which I'm shouting, I've already gone too far in a negative unhealthy way.  When in a situation of disagreement or anger, we transform the situation and bridge the distance by expressing directly, honestly, and calmly, without shouting.  A great saying of AlAnon is "Say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean."  We don't have to become angry.  We don't have to shout.  We can disagree and assert, even very strongly, without being angry and shouting.  I've done my share of being angry and shouting which I end up regretting, and sometimes I disagree and express myself without being angry and shouting which I feel good about and it contributes to bridging the distance. 

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