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Reader comment on Anthony de Mello's passage ...

Dropping That Drug


On Sep 8, 2013 david doane wrote:

My understanding of the drug of dependency is defining me by what I think the other wants or by what I think will get me what I want.  It means my saying or doing something based on how I think the other will respond.  It is manipulating myself and my expression of myself in order to attain a particular result or goal.  It's being what we call a politician.  To paraphrase Martin Buber, he said that if I am I because you are you, and you are you because I am I, then I am not I and you are not you; but if I am I because I am I and you are you because you are you, then I really am I and you really are you, and we can meet.  I being I because you are being you is the drug of dependency.  I being I because I am I is independence and freedom, and often takes much courage to live out.  There is no need to reconcile the interdependence of the universe with being drugged by dependence.  They are different ways of being.  Interdependence of the universe means each form in the universe is independent and free in its being and is affecting and being affected by every other form, but it is not how it is because of the other.  The sun shines and I sweat.  The sun is not shining to make me sweat nor is it dependent on my sweating.  I sweat not because the sun is hot but because I am how I am.  Or, I may say I am bombing another country because of how they are, which is not true and is the twisted thinking of the drug of dependence.  The truth is that if I bomb another country it is because of how I am, it's my independent action and responsibility.  I let go of the drug of dependency when I am true to myself, accepting and expressing my truth as I interact with others and am affected by others. 



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