Reader comment on Barbara Frederickson's passage ...
On Jun 16, 2013 david doane wrote:|
To start, from my viewpoint the author confuses in love and love, which I see as separate phenomena that can exist concurrently and can affect and support one another. In saying "love is an emotion, a momentary state" that "surfaces like a distinct and fast-moving weather pattern," the author is describing 'in love." As I see it, love is a state of consciousness that one abides in. We fall into emotional love; we grow into abiding in a state of love. Love involves emotion but is more than emotion. 'In love' is a micromoment or longer of positive connection, but 'love' is a state of consciousness and a way of being and a positive connection in relation to others and all that is. I am convinced that love, both kinds that I speak of, is healthy and nurtures good health, and health affects love. It is probably easier for the healthy person to love and be in love, though the unhealthy person can certainly also love and be in love which I believe promote good health. Micromoments of in love occur for me frequently, and they are always positive and usually exhilarating, and often the other doesn't even know it is occurring. Macroperiods of in love occur much less frequently for me, and they are also positive and life enhancing. Love, that is, that abiding state of compassion and connection, is not a micromoment for me but a state of consciousness that I abide in much more often than I used to, and it is invigorating and transforming. Such love reverberates in me in relation to others, but contrary to the author's opinion, it resides in me and can reside in me even when with someone who is unloving.