Reader comment on Rachel Naomi Remen's passage ...

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    On Mar 19, 2013 Stephanie wrote:

     I have just been dealing with the issue of helping vs sharing expertise vs fixing.  I agree with the distinctions as described in the article.  But what the article does not deal with the why one would feel that there is a need to help or fix.  In a one on one relationship there are often subtle signals that seem to "request help"  and often these signals increase in number and intensity over time.  It is a 3 sided dance that generally ends badly no matter how good the original intentions are,  The 3 sides are rescuer, victim and persecutor.  In this dance each party plays all of the roles at one time or another.    Dealing from whole understanding and trust in the rightness of the situation and the universe is the goal.  So, how is this accomplished?  It takes both parties to define a relationship.  How do you get to the point of equality with another soul whose circumstances or presentation caught your attention because they needed something (help) without making them a victim of your rescue or eventually giving them license to label you a persecutor?


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