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Reader comment on Daniel Goleman's passage ...

Social Intelligence


On Jan 1, 2013 John Daubney wrote:

There are events such as Daniel described where I can breathe deeply, smile, reframe what's going on so as not to take it personally, but there are also events that may hit a deep wound of my own or comes unexpectedly  and viciously from a close friend or family member where my circuitry is overwhelmed emotionally and I may  freeze, not knowing what to do but react.  In those rare moments I have learned to not respond (not always successfully) and instead deep breathe, affirm that "all is well," and perhaps ask Spirit for direction. In those moments of sudden emotional onslaught,  it is best for me not to react, thus giving  myself a chance to regroup and reframe  the reality of what has happened. I am also not averse to sharing my feelings with trusted friend if the feelings persist over time which can give me support but a different perspective as well.
 Consciousness of my thoughts and emotions  is first of all the saving grace for me. It is very important to refocus from what "he or she" has done to me. My power to feel better in these situations is stay with, and focus on myself and on changing my thinking process. When I see myself as a victim I can become very reactive and dis-empowered. . No matter how much Emotional Intelligence  I may possess, in the end I am human and imperfect. I am just thankful for the many tools I have accumulated so that I can find my way out of those moments without making matters worse.



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