Reader comment on Daniel Goleman's passage ...
On Apr 21, 2009 Rod Templin wrote:|
Ganoba has hit the key element here. In my opinion, in order to be fully present, the ego must be "submerged". Another useful perspective on this, is to think of just leaving your ego "on the shelf" unless you need it. If active listening is going to happen, there is no need for my ego.
The practice of "active listening" also requires that one attempt to paraphrase what the "other" is saying. For example, . . ."it sounds to me like you are saying (put it in your own words), is that right?"
Also, once you sense that you have "attuned" yourself to the other's head/heart space, remain in that space yourself. Do not attempt to convince another of your own perspective unless that is specifically requested by the other. You cannot force another to take your viewpoint by beating them over the head with it. As someone wisely advised, "Quiet your mind, open your heart, and exercise your spirit!"