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Reader comment on Parker Palmer's passage ...

My Misgivings About Advice


On Jan 25, 2017 Jagdish P Dave wrote:

 Loving attention and compassionate presence is what we need in good times and bad times. Kind genuine look, empathic understanding,therapeutic loving touch, helping hands and active listening are the core ingredients for helping someone who goes through depression and suffering.We all need such seeing, hearing, witnessing  and companioning when go through a downward turn in our journey of life. Advising done with all good intentions is counterproductive.

This writing reminds of a poem I had learned when I was in a high school.It is in Hindi: Ghayal ki gata ghayal jane' aur na jane' koi- A wounded heart knows the pain of the other wounded heart and none other. Yes. We need someone to walk with us as a compassionate companion when our heart aches and when we feel down.

Reading this writing reminds of me a moving experience I had with a 5 years old girl sobbing and sitting by herself. I was heading towards my lunch. When I saw her crying, I paused and stood beside her. I  looked at her and put my hand on her shoulder. She felt my compassionate and caring presence. Her lips were dry. I brought water for her to drink.She seemed to calm down a little.I asked her what made her cry. " I miss my mom. She is flying to Colorado for two weeks for her work and I won't see her for two weeks.." Sitting beside her, holding her hands, listening to her and feeling her sadness was good enough for her to be herself. I asked her if she could face time her mom on her smart phone.There was a soft smile on her face and I left  holding this little girl in my heart.

May we extend our loving hand and be connected with someone going though emotional suffering! It is by giving we receive!



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