This is really powerful for me. I have experienced this observer role and my behavior and response, and have been able to adjust in the morment and respond more positively. I have also failed and experienced the residual feelings that the author describes. It is plain and simply awareness. My awareness is still growing. I can see the impact on the relationship with myself and others... very cool!
To me we are all at different places in our walk in this life. I was put off the article by the authors writing,
"The fact that most people do not see life this way testifies to how deeply asleep and in denial they truly are."
It is a judgment statement.
As I am living and being in a different country, in a different culture, people do things differently. I am finding we are basically the same, just different. Everyone's journey is different and self discovery for each of us will be different...
Wow, loved this read! Such a wonderful thing to begin my day with here in my world. A reminder of love in everything, of doing the small things with great love! The analogy of the conch shell and our whole being and the universe... of the holding and listening and the challenge to us all for compassion.
Wow, this is a thought provoking essay; thank you.
True, we, none of us, can abandon or forget our 'self'.
I guess for me, in my continuing to grow up in this life, it is a balance of humility (that helps me engage more deeply with others and enables better empathy within), and the care and love of me much like that which I work within myself to cultivate for others. I seem to be balancing this with increased awareness of my internal responses to others and pausing and feeling and allowing for understanding of others and myself in these situations. Also, the realization and experience of the larger world really does drive home the sameness of us all which has humbled me rightly.
Your term 'internal executive' is one I am not familiar with and cannot seem to find specific information on the almight worldwide web, though I feel I understand what you are referring to.
Wow, this is a pretty cool story! Relates also to last weeks reading by Timber Hawkeye and the question in his thought on wrongs and understanding, empathising with those that do the perceived wrong... and then here you are connecting it to wholeness, wow, good stuff!
The situation you approached worked out somehow for you and the old man - happily.
I struggle with stepping in or stepping up these days, when I see a wrong. I'm a pretty plain spoken person and fierce about fairness and doing right. I've picked up a few peoples stuggles in an effort and with desire to help a situation. For me, I'm in a pausing mode at present, when I witness perceived wrongs. Living in a different country and culture and interacting with others from round the world, gives ways to many, many different perspectives on right and wrong, good and bad... I appreciate your attempt to do right and bring right and calm and a broader vision/perspective to the situation here in your story.
Susan
Personal responsibility... I value it, and live by it, too.
I have been living in a new country now for two years. I am wowed at how many things though different, are the same.
I am from the San Francisco Bay Area and I am living in another 'bay area' in South East China in Zhejiang province - there's a bay and a harbor, and commerce, but it's different. As I move about my city, there are many plants that are the same and though I'm in a different place, the familiarity makes my new city feel friendlier. As I enjoy the different food here in China, I am wowed at the spices and ingredients of which many are the same that I have cooked with back home, yet the culinary outcome is different.
I am a teacher here in China and I see families that love and care for their kids. I observe families enrolling kids in activities, mom's and aunties and grannies picking up and dropping kids off, just like back home in the bay area where we love our kids and want to give them what we think they need to be successful.
The recognition of so many similarities, of so much 'same-ness' really gives way to empathy, to learning to let go of the differences and to simply accept and welcome others in to my life. This recognition and living in community in this new city, is also teaching me that for all our differences, we are more the same than imagined.
It's a beautiful thing to be so aware as to be able to pause, to empathise, and to understand why someone hates, hurts, is racist, etc.
I fall short of this empathy far to often, I'm afraid. I feel so fierce about fairness - fair treatment of others. I am tending to just become quiet especially now with the challenges politically in my home country, America, when I read or hear terrible talk about immigrants, about race, etc. For me my 'right and wrong' are really clear to me and I have sincere difficulty understanding this idea of protection or protecting with racism, or any 'ism' really.
For me the real deal is being more loving within myself, to myself and others, to be of meaningful service to someone else daily, to be accepting and loving in my words and deeds... to be my best self, better and better in every way every day... and when I fall short, I remember that tomorrow is a new day!
Sad, real life story reflected in comments by Ranuath in 2017 here and still in many places in the world... water is such a precious resource. I can recall living in an area of Japan as a young girl where water was scarce. We would have to fill our bath tubs and large containers with water to bathe and flush toilets. We had to collect drinking water from natural sources and treat it for drinking. When it would rain, in celebration my family would run out in the rain without any umbrellas, and play in the downpours!
For me the story is also a metaphor for scarcity and expecting and visualizing abundance. I live in a foreign country and am a newcomer. My mantra for meeting new people and for doing and seeing new things, is to be open to new things an dpeople and to say 'yes' to all invitations and opportunities... I expect and hope them to pour in!
I love that you do this!
Me, too! It feels so far it good to come home to all the goodness in my space!
This is a timely subject for me... I’ve been living and working internationally now for almost 2 years. I’m amazed at how apropos this theme is to all expats, we need an ear, to be heard about the challenges with transition in regards to differences and adjusting to them; me, too. This theme also rings a bell with me on listening to ourselves and our bodies always, but specifically during times of transition albeit physical or emotional change.
Elizabeth, I am inspired by your writing... I've had a desire to live around the world, to work and live in different communities. My life has been quite mainstream as a single mom focused on children and family and providing. My daughters are grown and on their way in their lives now... still I couldn't figure out how to make this live/work idea come to life for myself... then I lost my job and, to coin a business term, a forcing function occurred in the need to find a new job. I began to spread my net of out reach for a new job, as well as my networking and some educational efforts, to include opportunities abroad... I also allowed myself to dream more about the possibilities, what it might look like, how it might feel to actually live and work in another country... low and behold, I was recruited for a job in China - I accepted! And my exciting journey to live and work in other communities has begun!
...sometimes the purest among us, our children, are nothing more than sleepy and crabby when waking. Separate yourself and your own issues from your sweet baby girl. Recognize your sensitivity in possibly needing more sleep and truly nothing more. I know little of your situation but caution, that keeping things simple is always best.
Awe, hugs to you, and what a lovely salutation Conrad always used, "Kind and loving regards"; beautiful!
The power of love! So enjoy the reference to Jimi Hendrix I think of many song lyrics, "All You Need Is Love", "The Power of Love"... to name a few more. *giggle
Mostly I have reflected on the power of Love that resonates with in me 'still' from many people that have crossed my path that I haven't seen in some time and with people that I've not met though correspond with or think of regularly through prayer and meditation.
It is this power of love that makes such wonderful things possible... believing and allowing it to manifest!
Thank you Pancho for that piece of you with in me always, thank you Mehta family for your loving example of service and support in all you do, thank you Dadhich for your loving reach, thank you Jay and Dani, Thank you Maddie n' Ellie for your love, Linda and Sadie, Rosli for your love of teaching & your students, so very many more!
... Ohsomany examples of the power of love!
I missed this week and the gathering of like hearted people at the Mehta Family home. This disturbed me, and my usually staid and predictable goings on in life! As is true to Margaret Wheatley's passage though, the difference even in my activitiy this week has caused me to be out of my comfort zone adn recognize the value that the gathering in peaceful repose with 20-60 people and the habitual nature of sitting quietly has in my life.
This morning I've watched the sun rise over the desert in Las Vegas, Nevada. Absolutely beautiful how the soft pink pallet of light reflects on the hills surrounding the city. I thought of Ms. Wheatley's writing and agree that it is our differences that are beautiful, thought provoking, sometimes uncomfortable, for me always attractive and essential to individual and group growth. A friend of mine use to say to me that it is our differences that make us who we are and also keep things interesting!
There is something more to this stopping and listening and recognizing the discomfort that Margaret writes about ... it is intuition as well, our gut feeling, our inner compass. The wisdom comes to us in recognizing the what and why we are uncomfortable. This allows us to learn more about ourselves and each other. I return to the words of so many in our Wednesday circle - understanding and compassion for ourselves and others.
Why I Sit… Seeking peace Of mind Within my heart In search of connections With you Within the world A quest for Understanding and Compassion Mindful equanimity Discovering quietness Sitting peacefully 10/2009 SB
Mr. Fleishman... I read and now reread your post... I'm inspired to truly sit and listen to the quiet, to me, to the outside... the theme of death stopped me at the first, then in rereading I'm understanding the idea...
I've a need to listen, to stop and listen and to hear.
I appreciate the humility in your statement , "There is little I have heard from others ... that I have not seen in myself as I sit." We're all so much the same, it's good and ok to love ourself as we appreciate and love and listen to someone else.
Thanks for a well written thought and a well stated discipline and practice... I'm inspired!
Susan
On Sep 13, 2022 Susan wrote on On Love, by Justin Faerman: