On Mar 15, 2007 Sukh wrote:|
Its tough. Its almost as we need to do the thing that is most non-intuitive. When pain arrives, the first thing we want to do is run away, not accept, not become more aware. Its feels almost like a biological reaction to avoid paid, when what we need to do most is the opposite of our nature. Kind of like when your car is in a dangerous skid, intuitively you want to turn in the direction you want to go, but the only way out of the skid is to actually turn into it, to face the skiding direction head on and gain control. And the world we live in doesn't necessarily support this process either. If we are aware of our pain, then anything can happen, its possible that it can overtake us. ... and if we lose our awarness in the process, then maybe even worse things can happen. So we lock it up and hide it from ourselves and others. Noone sees the pain that we carry inside. Our joy, on the other hand, we keep visible, it sets our status in society and keeps us safe around others. But as much joy there is to experience, as is there pain. As we travel the world, we are only sharing half of us. We are only living half-truth. Maybe society won't accept us as we realy are. Sad, broken, angry, afraid, insecure. That's me. In the end, becoming aware of your own pain feels like torture. First maybe we need to stop being afraid of pain (and not judge ourselves for not being happy all the time), then it may become okay to accept it as it is. Nonetheless, its just tough.
On Feb 5, 2007 Sukh wrote:|
Maybe being the center of the universe isn't so bad. If, that is, we can see it for it is, see our hard-wired tendencies, and see the opportunities to move away from them. We may never to able to truly leap into another's body, but we can definitely move from being self-centered, to other-centered. Maybe that opportunity to move exists all the time. Maybe doing so is the best thing we can do for our own selves, then the line between doing for others, and doing for self actually blurs.