On Sep 24, 2019 Marc wrote:|
Just what I needed this morning as a gentle reminder. The battlefield of the mind has been going for too long. During prayer the other day the idea that I don’t have to perform to earn or be loved came up; this reminds me of that. During meditation, I don’t have to try and succeed at finding the root of my recent and ongoing anxiety and stomach issues. Just by being present and trusting in that will eventually help.
On Jul 30, 2019 Marc wrote:|
I’ll never forget this one time, when I was in a field with two of my brothers, and we were discussing religion and spirituality and the origin of the mind and consciousness, and suddenly I popped. I remember noticing my one brothers mind struggling to comprehend something, and then, my mind ceased. My ego/personality disappeared. I lay on the ground hysterically laughing, looking at our car and pointing, laughin, exclaiming “I’m the car”.. my one brother was laughing with me, as he got it, the other one, a bit annoyed. I laid there laughing for maybe 10 minutes. Then a sense of obligation returned. What I would give to experience something like that now, as I’m going through a difficult and painful season where work, relationships, friendships just aren’t working, laughter has all but disappeared, Joy , peace, love, all fleeting. It’s crazy to think of how “we” can go in and out like that of the matrix. But knowing that it’s that there, what it is, ok such a deep and profound level, is one of the things that has kept me persisting through the dark times. Amen to that. Thanks for sharing
On Jun 26, 2019 Marc wrote:|
On May 30, 2019 Marc wrote:|
So good. I think acceptance is so key here. If we are/were hurt/traumatized/grieving, it be so difficult to be receptive, be open, and especially be trusting to the blessings in front of us. This is something that has plagued me in relationships for most of my life. One time I do remember getting past the pain and accepting the new gold was after I broke my arm for the 2nd time in three months in college. My nerve was injured during the surgery and the surgeon said it may never heal again because it may have been severed. This nerve controlled the extension of my entire forearm, wrist and fingers and after the surgery, I had to wear a brace to keep it even in a neutral position. The first month or so was hard. But at some point, I was able to pick up and play my guitar. The gold in front of me was with the arm injury, and not being able to play sports, go to the gym, or do the other things I had been doing, I had lots of time to try to play the guitar, and learn scales and things I had never taken the time to learn. I'll never forget the morning when I was playing and all of a sudden, I realized that I had extended one of my fingers the smallest distance, which meant the nerve was not severed and my arm/hand would function again. It took accepting my situation, embracing it, and making the best of it to not only heal my spirit, but heal my body. Thanks for sharing
On May 21, 2019 Marc wrote:|
More recently, I've related to uncertainty with more uncertainty, followed by a fair amount of anxiety. Its a bit of a negative feedback loop in the sense it usually becomes more difficult for me to make decisions in the midst of the uncertainty, leading to more of the same, and usually more pronounced. Where this comes from, what causes this, what's at the roots of it, I'm not certain.. but I continue to be open to changing because living from that place is not a fun place to be, so I try to maintain faith and hope in the future, and a return to a time and place when there was peace, curiosity, and even joy in the midst of uncertainty.
On Nov 16, 2015 Marc Dougherty wrote:|
Really good.. I am currently "recovering" from roughly two years of this "burnout" where after several years working in the investment management industry post-college, I somewhat woke up to the divine unity of all things and I decided to leave my career, in somewhat of a misunderstood and rebellious, renunciation of materialism and access.. only to find myself in on the other extreme where I was trying to give and practice acts of kindness and charity as I traveled without a stable home, working in a variety of un-paid volunteer positions, over the course of a two-year period, when I wasn't really able to take care of myself and meet all my needs. Thus my "giving" was coming from a place of lack and out a false and confused sense of nobility, as I was trying to "do-good." I was not able to give unconditionally, and have not been able to fully love in my relationships or interactions because I have not been taking care of myself during this time. I am just now waking up to this after two years of being confused and am learning to take care of myself again, as I realize this is fundamental in any true giving. Someone else commented This passage has the potential to save a lot of 'heartache' for a lot of 'givers'..IA part of me wants to say I wish I had read this passage two years ago.. But..then I wouldn't have had my adventure/future novel to depict all of my travels, couchsurfing, hitch-hiking and WWOOFing all around the world : )