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Living With Radical Honesty

--by Brad Blanton (Jul 28, 2008)

Audio Reading by Liz Helgesen

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I learned that the primary cause of most human stress, the primary cause of most conflict between couples and the primary cause of most both psychological and physical illness is being trapped in your mind and removed from your experience. What keeps you trapped in your mind and removed from your experience is lying and we all lie […] all the time. We're taught systematically to lie, to pretend, to maintain a pretense because we're taught that who we are is our performance. Our schools teach us to lie, our parents teach us to lie. We're all suffering from mistaken identity.

We think that who we are is our reputation, what the teacher thinks of us, what kind of grades we make, what kind of job we have. We're constantly spinning our presentation of self, which is a constant process of lying and being trapped in the anticipation of imagining about what other people might think. Our actual identity is as a present tense noticing being. I'm someone sitting here talking on the telephone right now and you're sitting there talking on the telephone and writing or doing whatever you're doing. That's your current identity and this is my current identity and when you start identifying with your current present-tense identity you discover all kinds of things about life that you can't even see or notice when you're trapped in the spin doctoring machine of your mind. So radical honesty is about delivering yourself from that constant worrisome preoccupation of, "Oh my god. How am I doing? How am I doing? How am I doing? How am I doing?" Then you can pay attention to what's going on in your body and in the world and even pay attention to what's going on in your mind.  […]

Just look at what you notice in front of you right now, your environment, wherever you are in an office or wherever it is. Noticing is an entirely different function than thinking and what we do all the time is that we confuse thinking with noticing. When we think something we act as though it has the same validity as something that we see. I've got a bumper sticker on my truck that says, "Don't believe everything you think." It's like your thinking just goes on and on and on and on. 

--Brad Blanton, Center For Radical Honesty


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On Jul 28, 2008 Brinda wrote:
WOW! What an amazing concept....
and so true that we are preoccupied with how we are perceived rather than "identifying" with our identity at a particular moment-- really revolutionary concept.

On Jul 28, 2008 Zethu wrote:
I thik I'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of a lie and I'm reaalisig that this is true. But with so much pressure- work, family, relationships and even from ourselves, how do we divert from that?

On Jul 29, 2008 sue wrote:
Yes I see the point. It is true that we worry about what others think of us most of the time, altho it can be less worrisome as you get older and realise that it doesn't matter in the great scheme of things.
But..what about the 'lie' that is NOT doing what your little selfish ego says do now, and doing what is best for all involved? Being aware of the now that is self centred or mean or vindictive and NOT doing it. Am I getting confused here?

On Jul 29, 2008 Marianne wrote:

I feel shocked and at the same time relieved. This constant "How am I doing?" and about a future event:"Will I be able to do it well?" is such a tear and wear...
Realizing how much we are lying to
other people and ourselves, - I am going to concentrate on studying it in my life.

On Jul 29, 2008 jeff Midddleman wrote:
Hello:

I just took my vows and married my soulmate on Sunday July 27th at 11:45 am. I am who I am right now and not at any other moment and who I am changes as my conscious mind reflects. I agree I am not that realtor or that father or that friend. I am my energy at any given moment.
Who I am being is directly related to my being present right now.

All the best on your journey.


Jeff Middleman

On Jul 29, 2008 Conrad wrote:
"I told a hundred fibs today and that's the truth."
Seriously, this is great. I need to be reminded of this very often.
Thanks for the continued inspiration and peaceful noticings.

On Jul 29, 2008 brvhrt wrote:
Human understanding, our own honest ways to be True to whoever or whatever will confuse us. Just from this site, from another posting and what many here said is Enlightening and Revolutionary "Meister Eckhart says: Thoughts are our inner senses. When the inner senses are dull and blurred, you can see nothing in or of yourself; you become a respectable prisoner of received images. Now you realise that 'eternal vigilance is the price of liberty' and you undertake the difficult but beautiful path to freedom. On this journey, you begin to see how the sides of your heart that seemed awkward, contradictory and uneven are the places where the treasure lies hidden. You begin to become true to yourself. And as Shakespeare says in Hamlet: To thine own self be true, then as surely as night follows day, thou canst to no man be false".

This is why it's best to Trust God and not lean on our own understanding. Is this concept difficult to grasp? Here's the rest of it: Proverbs 3:5-7 says:
5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil.

Peace to all my beloved brothers and sisters!

brvhrt



On Jul 30, 2008 seema wrote:
oh my god this is amazing!

On Sep 10, 2008 monty wrote:
It seems to me that our lying simply mask the true way things are.If I could just get out of my own mind I would then be less selfish and then happy with things.

On Sep 30, 2008 sivasandur wrote:
With the expectation of good tomorrows we started living in deep illution. Illution of hopes for better tomorrows, made us to wear the mask. it seems we cannot live with out self deception. To live our day today life we needs illution, dreams , and lies.
we surrendered to our mind which never allow us to live in todays. Our mind has destroyed our life. It has spoiled all of our relationships ,

On May 22, 2011 Brad Blanton wrote:

 Thanks so much for putting this out there and to all of you who have responded, and to those who have ordered the audio and written versions of my book. I have other books about Radical Honesty too.  They are all listed at my site at www.radicalhonesty.com  Thank you for learning to practice this, it helps not only us, it helps the world.