Awakin.org

Waking up to Wisdom
In Stillness and Community

Awakin Calls » Jeannie Kahwajy

Jeannie Kahwajy: Executive Coach, Professor, Teacher, Communication- and Relationship-Builder
Oct 15, 2016: Getting the People Part Right



Read: Call Transcript (Also: DailyGood Feature)

Dr. Jeannie Kahwajy is the founder and CEO of Effective Interactions, a firm specializing in personal effectiveness and organizational achievement.  She is an expert in the mechanism of interpersonal influence and focuses on applications in leadership, decision making, negotiation, and learning: how to be heard, how to turn around difficult situations, how to help people explore new ideas, and how to get others to want to follow you. Whereas management consulting too often focuses on the "what" of business – strategy, execution, financial modeling, etc. – Jeannie believes that the key to unlocking individual and team potential is to tackle the "how" of interaction.  "If you don't get the people part right, nothing else See full.
Dr. Jeannie Kahwajy is the founder and CEO of Effective Interactions, a firm specializing in personal effectiveness and organizational achievement.  She is an expert in the mechanism of interpersonal influence and focuses on applications in leadership, decision making, negotiation, and learning: how to be heard, how to turn around difficult situations, how to help people explore new ideas, and how to get others to want to follow you.

Whereas management consulting too often focuses on the "what" of business – strategy, execution, financial modeling, etc. – Jeannie believes that the key to unlocking individual and team potential is to tackle the "how" of interaction.  "If you don't get the people part right, nothing else matters."  Her approach is scientific, innovative, and counterintuitive, achieving breakthrough results with senior executives in major corporations on six continents.  She has also addressed 160 US Ambassadors and the top 50 at the US Department of State with the message of how we can create peaceful and profitable relationships through the language of leadership.

Dr. Kahwajy's research, teaching, and client engagements focus on specific ways leaders can transform their interactions to make those interactions – and themselves – more effective.  At the core, her work is about learning the skill to bring love and transformative participation into every interaction, though primarily in the workplace.  She believes it is possible for a single participant in an interaction to adopt behavior and successfully alter the communication dynamic, even when interacting with someone stuck in another mode.  This permits applicability of these techniques far beyond the traditional approaches which pre-suppose an alteration of behavior by both parties.

Her research interests flow from a few basic questions:  Why do we perform better in the presence of some people?  Or why do we give the benefit of the doubt to one person but not to another?  What causes us to WANT to hear, help, trust, or promote someone?  What creates goodwill?

“I was always curious about how when you’re talking to someone, magic seems to happen,” she says.  “Things come out of you and out of the other person that you didn’t even imagine.  So you both leave transformed.  There’s some magic that happens in the inner space between people.  One of my favorite quotes is that ‘The meaning of life is not what happens to people.  The meaning is what happens between people.’  And we are here to inspire people.  My dreams happen to be around the magic of interpersonal interactions.  And being surprised.  And trying to get that alchemy going in every situation we are in.  How my readiness to learn is the key to influencing and inspiring others.”

According to Kahwajy, “There’s something going on that’s very powerful and overlooked in the interaction between people. If you look deeply,” she continues, “what you can learn or see is that other people pull out your greatness and you pull out their greatness. It’s a skill.  It’s this force of receiving that elicits their greatness, and that’s really the mechanism.” 

That fundamental skill of receptiveness, according to Jeannie, is one that can be taught and learned.  If you want to be an exceptional communicator, she teaches, set people up to be better able to be receivers of information.  In other words, set people up to play a game of catch with you, instead of a game of throw at you (and them). “This is all accomplished by our going first, by our achieving a ‘state of receptiveness’ ourselves: ready to catch especially what we don’t expect or ready to learn what we didn’t know we didn’t know.”

Dr. Kahwajy holds multiple degrees from Stanford University – a PhD in organizational behavior and PhD Minor in social psychology, an MBA, and an MS in engineering-economic systems with a concentration in decision science, as well as a BS in systems engineering from the University of Virginia. She continues to advise executives and teach leadership and interpersonal dynamics inside companies and in top executive MBA programs around the globe.  Her Harvard Business Review article, “How Management Teams Can Have a Good Fight,” has recently become an HBR Classic.

Before devoting her full-time efforts to private consulting through Effective Interactions., Dr. Kahwajy was professor of organizational behavior at IMD in Lausanne, Switzerland, a management consultant with Strategic Decisions Group in Menlo Park, CA, and a member of technical staff at Bell Labs.  She has held positions in technical marketing with Bell Atlantic, worked on the equity derivatives trading desk in London with Banque Paribas and was on a USAID team that advised the Czech Minister of Privitization during their economic transition in the early 1990s.


Five Questions for Jeannie

What Makes You Come Alive?
Witnessing an act of reception. It reminds me to get myself into receiving mode, and there is no greater help or inspiration for my spirit than being there. It's instant joy.

Your Greatest Inspiration?
When I was 17, a friend mentioned that I had something important to share with the world: that not everyone acted or thought or saw as I did..or routinely received similar options or results. He told me that I was obligated to figure out how I was being and to teach the world this. This set me on a path of relentless observation and study, propelling me to change majors and to seek three graduate degrees, not stopping until I could answer his question logically and scientifically. Over the years, the message became clearer: how to love, how to inspire one's own spirit. The spiritual texts all concur, we are designed to love and to be our brother's keeper. But exactly how? And what are the traps that can routinely fool me? Our perception processes don't work as they are designed unless I am in this "love state." I can link how we make sense of the world with what operating system we have running in Our heart. It's scientific! There is something that speaks louder than actions.

An Act of Kindness You'll Never Forget?
Watching my uncle be very kind to a reckless and targetedly mean co-worker as I was walking behind him. In that instant, I had witnessed the very best humankind had to offer: unconditional kindness that comes a from decision to unconditionally be loving. He said to me that "there was never a reason not to be friendly." At that moment, I was the one who felt blessed; I remember fighting to hold back my tears. How fortunate I was to know, to be around, and even be related to such deep and unconditional kindness. Further, the act of kindness didn't even have to be directed toward me for me to feel its benefit. Boy, was he right, my Dear Uncle Freddie! Years later I unraveled this in my research at Stanford. Another moment of confirmation I vividly recall: hearing my Great Uncle Fred at age 104 answer the phone: "I love you, who are you?" Yes, receiving indeed comes before (and is independent of) the giving! Being an act of kindness becomes the goal.

One Thing On Your Bucket List?
To write up this "power of receiving" that explains the gravity between people and the magic of interaction in a way that truly can reach all who want it, accurately and without option to turn its message into a tactic or to think it is impossible to reach or optional to be.

One-line Message for the World?
If you get the people part right, nothing else matters.If you get the people part wrong...nothing else matters.


Related Awakin Call Speakers
Arathi, Ashish and Birju
Rob Haddad
Prasad Kaipa